Marriage can be one of the biggest chapters in a person’s life. It also comes with big responsibilities, of course.
One may think that a 50-50 split in responsibilities is ideal to keep a relationship fair, but this can be damaging. As one mental health provider, we’ll explain more about this below:
People may think that there are fixed responsibilities in marriage and that these responsibilities require taking turns to keep a relationship balanced. Suppose it’s your turn to do house chores, naturally, one would think that this would be the spouse’s task the next time around. With this mindset, we can become too fixated on keeping score rather than supporting each other.
Every family goes through many situations and transitions that intervene with equally split responsibilities. Factors like work, schedule differences, or a health condition, are examples of why a 50-50 proposition won’t work.
Experts in family counseling state that for a relationship to be fair, it’s not about discussing “who needs to do this or that”, but it is recognizing the needs of the relationship. Roles can change from time to time, and we need to be flexible to adjust to these changes.
Family counseling also tells us that if a 50-50 marriage was achievable, marriage would ultimately be vulnerable to change.
All in all, couples should check in on shared duties and see if it is fair and reasonable.
Brooks Behavioral LLC is a provider of mental health counseling in Gainesville, Florida. If you are interested in family therapy services, please get in touch with us today.